So I just got back from a small concert and I am not sure I am doing concerts right

the drums drowning out everything

I have noticed this many times with concerts at mid-to-large venues. Not sure why this is a popular way of mixing sound differently in concert, because it doesn't have to be. And it pissed me off every time.

(edit: OP seems to refer to what earplugs do to the sound and not to the mixing. Well, my statement still stands)

IMHO the smaller the venue the better the concert. Not always, of course.

And seated concerts? Ugh. I need to dance.

Sure have there be a dance floor but standing for 4 1/2 hours straight is literally painful. Also I don't know how to dance.

And despite having silicon ear plugs at the last two

Are they "music" earplugs that attempt to have a flat attenuation across the whole audio spectrum? High frequency sound is the most easily attenuated by earplugs so if you use "normal" earplugs that just aim for max attenuation you might find drum'n'bass overpowering everything else.

Go to classical concerts, or just acoustic stuff. If you have to wear ear plugs, dont like standing in a sea of smelly people, or hate chairs designed by psychopaths, maybe they aren’t for you… and that’s okay. I hate concerts, people, most chairs, loud noises, people again.

Just jiggle about to the beat, this ain’t the tango. Everyone sucks at “dancing.”

Not sure why this is a popular way of mixing sound

No one likes this. But it's much harder to get right than people think, and depending on the venue, it can be impossible.
I used to work for a small venue that got it right, but that involved constructing the building from the ground up specifically for concerts, coating all walls in the right material, sound techs with years of weekly experience in that room specifically, having our own bass drum to use if that of a band wasn't suitable, and an actual shitload of money for equipment that needed constant maintenance, too.

Sounds great, but I don't buy it. I know for a fact that it _is_ possible to mix the other instruments in accordingly even in larger venues. Probably because these bands were adamant about it. I believe the reason it's often better in smaller venues is because there's less separation between artists and technicians.

Nobody's asking you to stand _straight_ for hours on end. Yes, that would be painful. As the other commenter said: jiggle.

Oh I was jiggling, fidgeting, stretching, all that stuff. I don't stand straight very often.

Well even without the plugs the voices were muddled, and the plugs have no markings and I was gifted them long enough ago that the person who bought them probably doesn't remember either. Ill look into getting music specific ear plugs.

Edit: the ones I have look near identical to these https://www.amazon.com/Hearprotek-Reduction-Protection-Musicians-Nightclub/dp/B08PBQFQH6

where you are in the room can massively affect the sound. the best sound often is near the soundboard because thats where the guy mixing it is standing.

if its a band you have liked for a long time and is a celebrity to you, being up close to see them in person is very exciting and can make up for the worse sound near the stage.

you may try another set of earplugs as well. they are not all the same. i would say maybe take them out, because they really do interfere with the sound, but i dont want to encourage hearing damage... i have really bad tinitis at this point in my life. but maybe when your favorite song comes on, or a quieter number, listen raw to see what you think

having some drinks or some pot can help you get more into the music and the experience. and maybe numb/distract from the long periods of standing. but drinking too much can make you tire faster.

wear comfortable shoes. i love live music, but i often find my feet and legs hurting. your instict may be to dress to impress when going to a big event, but you want to be able to enjoy yourself. many venues are just concrete floors.

if you have the option to sit, take it. ampatheater shows often have lawn tickets. bring a picnic blanket and sit down. youre so far back you can only see the band on the jumbotron. youre not missing anything.

it sounds like this is a new thing for you. i bet you find your groove eventually. i used to not care much for live shows because rarely sounds as good as the album. but really live music is not supposed to be the album. the improv and interplay between the musicians, or the experience of seeing it being performed, the band and audience vibing off eachother.. this is really the whole point.

another thing to consider is some bands are better live, and some are better recorded. ive been bored to death watching some of my favorite bands, and completely enthralled by a band i would probably not listen to at home. maybe branch out and see something different. go to some local shows at small venues. theyre usually much cheaper, smaller rooms, you can easilly meet the band. and the drinks are cheaper.

also, maybe live music just isnt your thing, and thats ok too. you dont have to like things just because other people like it.

As someone who walks with a cane and can’t stand for several hours, you could ask the venue for a seat and they will generally provide one. May have to say you’re disabled and invoke the ADA, but if you can’t stand for long, it counts.

Also yeah, mixing is terrible sometimes.

Have you ever been in a mosh pit?

Last concert I went to was Superorganism, which is a band one wouldn't expect to have mosh pits, but there was. A lot of them.

Orono, the lead singer, is a crazy good at hyping up the crowds, probably why there were so many mosh pits.

What I'm saying is you've probably not been to concerts that were actually good. Which is understandable, doing a tour is _rough_ to say the least...

Maybe try a Gelli Haha concert? I've heard their live shows are awesome if you can get to one.

It's easier in large venues, actually.
But there you run into the issue that it sounds perfect from FOH, but the further you are from it, the worse it gets.