Throughout my adult professional life, I've encountered people who have a (to me, at least) very curious way of interacting with other people. They look at individuals as 'resources' and relationships as 'transactions'. Picture a spider's web of contacts where 'Bob' is replaced with 'has tools I can borrow' and 'Melissa' is replaced with 'can get me into my favorite club without a cover charge'.
I'm trying my best to articulate this. It's like these people only create relationships based upon what material gains it can offer them. They aren't really interested in the PEOPLE so much as the ADVANTAGE a relationship with them affords. Does that make sense?
Now to me, this is very bizarre. I just don't think this way, but I'm told that it's quite common - almost 'the norm'. Is this true? If so, I'm really bewildered by it. What do y'all think?
12 Jun 2026 16:48
A well integrated personality in our so wonderful capitalist societies?
In this model, humanity is merely more than a tool and/or a resources to be transformed using said tool, like any other natural resources. As a tool, we may very well be on the verge of being severely demoted (thx to AI and robots). And as a resources, in a pure capitalist logic, we should not have any rights (certainly not to decide of anything) but the right of being used by the ones able to exploit and transform us into more wealth (for themselves).
It's even more obvious when observing the active (and enthusiastic) demolishing of any form of spirituality/morality which were the only real limits one could us in order to restrain that relentless logic...
Following that logic we should not even be considered citizens of our respective countries anymore, not any more than a lump of coal or a cow grazing. Could this exactly be what is coming for us? _Nah..._ Obviously, I'm just being silly here. Good question, though.
12 Jun 2026 17:06
There's a difference between people who are great to know because of their utility and being their friend because of it. That being said, in business it often is reduced to that. I think lots of business folks blend the line too much with the salesman approaches, playing golf, celebrating client milestones, etc. In some ways the people around you are your pool of potential friends, so it's not that weird, but anyone with a checkbox for a mechanic, an electrician, an accountant, etc, Is just a user.
I work around a lot of talented and knowledgeable people, many of them are masters of their craft, and it spans white collar and blue. It's a great place to learn and have enthusiastic conversations as a hobbyist or novice to a master. I think us all helping each other out is kinda beautiful in its own way, but if I felt they didn't enjoy helping me for free then I wouldn't ask.
12 Jun 2026 17:21
Yeah I've met people like that. I believe they're normally called "psychopaths" for short. They tend to be concentrated in particular places and occupations and of course they will all tell you that it's perfectly normal and that everyone else is also like that and just hiding it.
12 Jun 2026 17:25
Please allow me to clarify - I'm not talking about people who help and share with each other as the regular course of a friendship. That's perfectly normal and should be encouraged - that's how community is supposed to work. What I'm talking about are the people who are like.....um....well, professional 'gold-diggers', if you will. Their ONLY interest lies in what they can get out of you. 'Users' might be a better term, I guess.
12 Jun 2026 19:05
When i was young, we called them leeches.
12 Jun 2026 19:10
I think it's most common to call it a "transactional" personality – and the way of thinking is often called "transactionalism", although that's kind of unfortunate since that's also the name of an approach within philosophical pragmatism. I've heard "instrumentalism" as well, which is also unfortunate in that it shares the name of a sort of pragmatist philosophical approach.
The latter term has been used some in discussions about kindergarten policy here in Norway, to criticize perspectives that only consider kindergartens, and childhood, to exist for the sake of adulthood or adult society.
12 Jun 2026 19:18
I recommend watching
this TED Talk by Adam Grant. It’s 14 min and groups people as “givers, takers, or matchers.”
12 Jun 2026 19:19
Sales and Marketing seems to have a ton.
12 Jun 2026 20:00
Sociopath is more the clinical designation these days, but that's assuming they lack certain emotions, or have the capacity to turn them off. OP could also just be describing highly transactional, self-interested people who've shut down their empathy in the quest to rise upward. There are some narcissists here, but there are also just a lot of assholes with no real pathology.
12 Jun 2026 20:12
What's the old saying? A monster cannot imagine someone better than themselves.
That's why they project all the time.
12 Jun 2026 20:21
Opportunists? It's how Danielle Smith in Alberta, Canada is often described.
12 Jun 2026 23:36
I saw a clip from an interview with a "looks maxing" influencer. He was explaining how a date wasn't really worth it unless he could stream it. The interviewer asked him "what about just hanging out with the girl and getting to know her"?
"where is the ROI in that"? 😱
13 Jun 2026 00:08