Are friends just a form of casual entertainment?

I've looked into the "common mistakes people make in friendships" and I don't think I'm making any of those.

I'm pretty discriminating in who I want to be my friend, I don't charge into a relatiosnhip, I'm taking time to build them, I'm not high maintenance or talk only about myself, I also don't think I"m coming across as a despearte people pleaser (definitely not my vibe!).

So I'm just sort of left with a feeling that society cares about only two relationships:

1) People to have sex with.
2) People who are evidence that sex was had in the past (ie, children).

And that's it.

Everyone else is just a TV set.

No most definitely not and I'm not even that good on the social and relationship part.

While mutual entertainment is good for both, friends are supposed to support each other as well, within their capabilities.
Aka you need a couch moved. You call a firend.
Your friends mood is down due to some problem, you try to bring it up or help them resolve that issue or at least lessen the impact of it.
Your partner kicks you out, friend will lend you their couch to crash on.

I remember a friend was supposed to help me move a TV I was buying new. He completely ghosted me all day. Turns out he was on Steam playing games.

Maybe my mistake is thinking people are real friends and not just cutting them off? It's so rare to find people I find minimally interesting, tho.

No, friendships are a source of companionship and support. They're people you can share your highs and lows with.

No, but be mindful there are many kinds of friends of varying degrees of closeness. A distant friend might fit your description. A close friend could be more attentive.

Keep in mind that people are busy, have work, families, tragedies and dramas of their own. It isn't always easy to be responsive to the level your suggesting.

Also, Marshall McLuhan said "The medium is the message". Your complaint...

"I'm left on read for days, meetings are ignored, text message conversations just end abruptly until they get back from vacation....

Those are asynchronous mediums. They are meant to get back to you when convenient. If you wanted immediacy, have a phone call, visit in person. The medium (asynchronous written messages) is the message (you don't need to respond right away).

It is not reasonable to expect someone on vacation to be tied to you electronically. They are on vacation! Leave them alone until they come back. Then have your convo and spend time with your friend.

This is very unhealthy and not representative of what's really happening. A therapist could help you with your dissatisfaction.

Yes, if you're a sociopath.
Covid, Social Media and Late Stage Capitalism have turned many people into sociopaths.

I left a friend an audio on whatsapp and he said two days later and he wrote “oh, shit, ijust got this, I'll listen soon.” Two days after that, he still hadn't listened to it.

Is that weird? I got not getting back to people right away, but if I send a friend a text I kind oF expect them to read it relatively soon and reply in a day or two.

What?

Edit:

Alternate title: Gaslighter suggests gaslighting.

No, I've had some pretty good friendships and real ones are not supposed to be like that at all.

Thinking of people as disposable like that, of just getting them out the drawer using them when convenient and then putting them back in the drawer again, is one of the many symptoms of the throwaway society we have developed and is not normal at all.

We treat objects like this, we treat the Earth like this, we treat life itself like this, so it's unsurprising that we treat other people like this too, because it's become so normalised, we grow up thinking that way, that we don't even think of it as abnormal anymore.

That's a little extreme, but I think there is a real component of social rot in the decline of friendships.

That isn't a friend, it is someone who shares mutual interests. You don't need to cut them off, just acknowledge the actual relationship and decide if that is what you want.

I have four friends. Those four friends also have their own lives and aren't available 24/7, but they will help putnif they can and I return the favor when I am able. There are a lot of other people I can hang out and do stuff with, but I wouldn't expect them to help out with something outside shared interests. They might, but I wouldn't expect them to.

In that particular case, I think the message format might have been an issue. I personally always find audio messages very inconvenient, as I'm not going to annoy everyone around me by listening to them in public. So I'd plan to listen to them later, but I might have forgotten about the message entirely by the time I got home. By the next time I remember the message, it could be an inconvenient timing again etc. A proper text message is almost always preferable.

That was most definitely a bad friend.

Everyone makes that mistake in one point of their life, just learn from it and move on.
Though you don't have to cut off people, just remember that they might not be that helpful, especially if you struggle to find people who intreset you.

Like the current example, if you need someone to play some games with, that bad friend might be good enough for that occasion, but when you need some help with carrying something, theres bo point to rely on that particular friend.