(How) Do men and women engage in (the same) hobbies in dfferent ways?

My husband is like your wife. He's very happy to find a rabbit hole to go down and will spend hours researching or working on a specific thing and is very driven.

I'm very come and go with my hobbies and more relaxed about it. I may spend 15-20 minutes on one and then move on to another.

Yeah having to struggle to do something really dampens the joys of doing said hobby.

There's obviously variation, but I've noticed even within relatively solitary hobbies women tend to be more inviting. If a female friend enjoys thread crafting or painting they are more likely to invite me to join than a male friend. I have a few friends that paint and generally the men will show off their work and accept a compliment, but if you were to compliment a female they will offer to teach you or show you a trick they learned or something. I'm not sure if that's related to gendered socialization, what they are seeking from the hobby, interest in hanging out with me in particular, or something else entirely, but it is something I've personally picked up on.

Fair enough. Sometimes I wonder, though. For example I see a fair share of women in the indoor climbing centre. And most of them have more hand strength than me, at least relative to body weight, because I'm sitting infront of the computer half of the day 😅 And it's certainly less fun for me until I do sone more work-out. I guess luckily, most of the hobbies aren't all about physical strength but come with quite a substantial element of skill as well, or dexterity or intelligence.

As a guy - I feel like it would be presumptuous to offer to help someone simply because they gave me a compliment. They would need to express a desire to be helped for me to do that.

I mean, as a general rule, you learn better in low pressure, reactive scenarios. High pressure scenarios where you must make descisions tend to be bad for learning intuitive skills. I wouldnt be surprised if mostly following is the best way to improve at dancing.

Anyway, to your point - as a guy, my desire to engage with partner dancing of any sort as a hobby would be driven by a desire to have fun and meet hot girls to sleep with. Competitive dancing might be kind of fun to watch sometime, but I simply don't have any interest in competing myself. If I can dance well enough to have a good time and flirt with hot girls, my goal is accomplished and I'm not going to put huge amounts of effort into improving. I have rocks to climb and a motorcycle to fix instead.