Edit: I know this isn't a trouble shooting forum, but I'm marking it solved because I'll just hide vote counts in my app (Voyager) from now on.
---
So I know there's a whole thing about not taking votes seriously, but if I'm having a good faith discussion with someone, and I KNOW they're the only person reading my comment reply in an older thread, and they downvote me, how am I not supposed to take it as a "fuck you" button?
I mean, here I am, honestly talking to you as AN INDIVIDUAL because ain't nobody else reading this, and I'm writing a few paragraphs about my perspective to share with you personally, and your ONLY reaction is to downvote me because we don't share the
same exact opinonm even though we might be on the same side generally?
Fuck me, bro? No,
FUCK YOU!
Is this emotionally immature of me? I mean, I don't know. Like, if you were having a discussion in public with someone and they just rolled their eyes and walked away, and this KEPT happening, how long before you just stop leaving the house entirely?
To me, it's incredibly fucking rude.
Edit: I know it's possible it's not the person I'm talking to downvoting me, but it most likely is.
9 Jul 2026 13:45
The thing is, I have been that person who is responding and someone else was downvoting the other person. So personally I never assume it's the other person, and I wouldn't bother engaging with someone who is acting in bad faith. But assuming this does happen, you can interpret it more as a "fuck this idea" than a "fuck you".
But overall, don't bother caring about downvotes. It's never going to affect your real life. People will people, and people are dumb.
9 Jul 2026 13:51
I think downvotes with a comment are a lesser negative feedback than swearing. More like a frown or shaking your head than swearing.
Blocking or trolling is the swearing equivalent.
9 Jul 2026 13:51
Yeah...
Downvotes are supposed to be about the discussion.
If a comment if just flat out wrong and overly confident I'm down voting because it's bad information.
If someone is asking actual questions, then I tend to upvote because that contributes to the discussion.
But lots of people definitely get their feelings hurt if you downvote them, I tend to block those people after a couple of replies. They're usually just here to argue, they treat social media like debate club for a dopamine hit.
9 Jul 2026 13:53
I don't know, if that someone is out of arguments, doesn't have anything useful to add and the both of you havn't reached a consensus, it might just be a way of saying "i disagree, but i know i'm not convincing you, so i'm out" it's a way of explaining that you don't agree which can be important in some very small comunities.
Side note : putting "fuck you" in big bold letter at the center of your post feels somewhat incendiary. As though you held all your readers accountable... (I know that's not what you mean, but it pits peoples against you from the start which may not be desirable
9 Jul 2026 13:54
The truth is, you'll never know why somebody downvoted you.
- Maybe they downvote every post they interact with
- Maybe they reached for the upvote and clicked on the downvote
- Maybe somebody else is stalking your posts and downvoting you
- Maybe it's a bot action targeting users of your instance
- Maybe they're telling you "fuck you"
Time spent thinking about it is time spent not having a good time - is time being wasted
9 Jul 2026 13:55
I don't think that's a good use of the downvote button because it DISCOURAGES conversation, and conversation is what's important in small communities. Like if you just wrote a few paragraphs to talk to one person, and maybe you even ask for clarification on a point, and the ONLY response is a downvote? That's very discouraging.
If you don't want to continue the conversation, just don't continue the conversation.
I'm putting the fuck you in there because I'm having a strong reaction, and that's what the reaction is, and I'm asking of that's really a crazy reaction or not. I mean, I think it is a bit crazy, but I totally understand where its coming from in the context of having a conversation with someone.
9 Jul 2026 14:00
You are in complete control regarding how you interpret and how it effects you. That arbitrary number under your posts and comments do not quantify any real metric and you shouldn't let it bother you or guide your participation.
9 Jul 2026 14:00
im not sure what to tell you as you already pointed out the obvious caveat yourself with that edit...
maybe you could try using an instance without a downvote button... at least blajah.zone had that i think
im not trying to invalidate your opinionated observation but afaict most people use the downvote to convey disagreement more than anything. i can remember a couple of interactions where the downvotes had felt like what you describe, but thinking back, it was always in one or another certain community (also it was on that shitty, commercial lemmy-knockoff) so maybe the users there were just very opinionated against my opinions 🤷
added: pardon me, that was blahaj.zone actually
9 Jul 2026 14:01
√{-_-}√
To continue on the side note, i meant that "fuck them" would have been a better choice of words. (If you absolutely need to use the word fuck)
9 Jul 2026 14:02
Well, I guess it just sort of echoes my real life is why I have a problem with it. I've been at an organization for six years and seen that I've never had an opportunity for advancement despite being really qualified. My going theory is that, because I very mildly autistic (peer-reviewed), that I'm too "blunt" and doesn't do enough social greasing, so, basically, people don't like me; so I guess that's why I'm overly sensitive to my contributions not being welcome on the internet when I'm discussing a topic with people.
9 Jul 2026 14:04
I KNOW they’re the only person reading my comment reply in an older thread, and they downvote me
I don't think you do. See, you can sort your feed my "new comments" so I quite often see old threads pop up where two people suddenly started a conversation again. Sometimes I check it out and vote on it.
But you could actually literally just look up who downvoted you, then you'd actually know. Votes are public. Then again, you really should just stop caring.
9 Jul 2026 14:04
I dunno, i havn't looked at your comment history, but with some people, say a grandfather/mother saying unacceptable things, you can't reeducate them, so you just let the conversation die by not responding or by clearing one's throat ...
9 Jul 2026 14:04
Blocking or trolling is the swearing equivalent.
No, leaving a comment with a swear is the swearing equivalent ....
9 Jul 2026 14:05
Lemmy
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