What did you learn by being DISLIKED at work?

Guest · 2026-07-03T06:10:54+02:00

I realize I've spent over a year in an organization where things kept falling apart because, ultimately, people in the organization just plain didn't like me. It started, perhaps, when I brought up that HR's onboarding process made me uncomfortable because it involved a third-party sending out a third-party email to go to a third-party website to entire our personal information. Since this was a training by the larger corporate IT department, and we had just finished talking about the dangers of phishing, I thought it was a good time to mention it. Mistake. The next week I was visited by someone who took issue with, "not what I said, but the way I said it". Lesson: don't embarass HR in company-wide trainings. Anyway, after a few similar call outs by me, I was labelled a trouble-maker, sidelined, ignored, and mistreated. This is an organization, I note, that assiduously avoids contradicting or discomfiting superiors in ANY way. That is deffos not my style. Anyway, my question really isn't about my toxic workplace, but [b]what you learned about [i]YOURSELF[/i] by working in a place that didn't like you.[/b] I'll give you two more stories: 1 When I just graduated from school, I started working with a team model. I was paired with someone with fewer certifications, and I was to lead us boldly on our mission. The person I was assigned was a very beaten-down older, brown woman in a field dominated by young white women (seemingly universally with long, straight hair). She seemed to be universally disliked and disrespected by everyone. Because I was incompetent both at my job and my Spanish (sabo kid in denial), this woman essentially did my job and HERS and still got treated like absolute shit. She invited me to an event that had nothing to do with work, an event for an organization she volunteered for where she was on the board. People treated her with respect and, in return, she was bright and bubbly. I saw a completely different side of her that night. _Lesson:_ Where we are beaten down, we get small. Where we are supported, we flourish. (Kind of an aside, she was from a small country, and when I told her I was visiting, she INSISTED I go see one of her family members; he turned out to be an extremely well placed person in the government; she wasn't royalty, exactly, but she had a social prestige in her country that was unsustainable as a middle-aged brown woman with an accent in the USA.) 2 I was working retail at one store. I'd been there for maybe two years. I always lived in fear of being fired, and when I made mistakes that I worried about getting me fired, nothing happened. I learned that, ultimately, what mattered is if people liked you, and, there, people liked me. I eventually had to leave because of some restructuring but the manager found me the EXACT SAME POSITION at a nearby store. After a few weeks, I noticed people did NOT like me. Conversations were kept short, nobody ever volunteered to talk to me,. I got along with exactly one cashier, who was an awesome dude. It wasn't a horrible experience, I was allowed to do my job and I did, but there was always an empty, hollow feeling. Then the original store invited me back and it was like night and day. "Oh, so this is how people act when they like you." I'd almost forgotten. I loved going into to work to see my work buddies and I loved shooting the shit with them during downtime. :joy:

#16

schipelblorp

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The place that really liked me was chockablock with computer nerds...

Oh, shit.

3 Jul 2026 08:29

#17

Goldholz

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There always is a workers union. Just because your workplace hasnt fully unionized doesnt mean YOU cant join one

3 Jul 2026 08:31

#18

MrSulu

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People can be shits just to follow a crowd and justify it hower it suits them

3 Jul 2026 08:39

#19

schipelblorp

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I mean, that sounds fine, I guess, but what's the point of joining a union when you're the only person in the union at your job, other than to paint a target on your back?

3 Jul 2026 08:42

#20

SharkWeek

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That it doesn't matter how good you are at your job, if someone above you doesn't like you they'll fuck you over sooner or later.

So, now I play politics and use gentle language to handle fragile men.

3 Jul 2026 09:07

#21

UPGRAYEDD

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I have never been the center of dislike at the company i have worked for. I have been disliked by singular people, and it has hurt personally, but not affected me professionally.

I have however worked for 2 companies where i disliked the majority of my co workers. I have found that how much i look back at the time i have spent working, my enjoyment at the places i have worked is more about how much i liked my co workers and less to do with the work itself. Even in places where the work was hard and long hours, if they were with people i enjoyed, i still look back fondly.

3 Jul 2026 09:10

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What did you learn by being DISLIKED at work?

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