Is it common after a breakup to lose every mutual friend you had?

Is the breakup and ending of friendships related to the rape accusations levied against you that you posted about 20 days ago?

https://lemmy.ca/comment/23387798

Burying the lede there a bit if that's the fuller context to your situation.

Edit: I'm not saying I think you're a rapist. I don't have enough information to formulate an opinion responsibly. I'm pointing out your former friends seem to have that perception, so that might contribute to you feeling like they're all staring a hole into the side of your head.

I'm going to apply a user tag and stop engaging now. Arguing with me is not where you need to spend your energy, nor I with you.

Did you know the friends first, or did your partner know them first? Or did you meet them at the same time?

Normally people back their friends up even when they are the bad guy but if you were equally as much a friend they should stay neutral.

LMAO

OP your post history is public. The reason your friends abandoned you is because you raped your ex gf. Any other questions?

And to think you want a safe space. What a fucking joke.

Yeah same situation, but even people who knew me for 20 years shouldn't have bought into that nonsense especially knowing the history of the relationship

I guess there's nothing you can really do to ever come back from this if this is the root problem. Just my word vs hers and she's expert level manipulator

Edit: I didn't come here to argue with anyone. But sure, tag me as "probably a racist" and don't talk to me. I'm getting used to it. Lol

All knew me first, most since childhood

I've never hurt anyone before. That's a really cruel comment

I guess it answers my question though. If the right person makes an accusation like that you can lose everything. And that's why I'll probably never get close to anyone ever again

Yeah my history is public and I'm proud of that comment because it wasn't easy to write. I was heavily abused for years and the only person who cared and convinced me to get out was my sister.

Yeah, raping someone would justifiably make someone lose all their friends.

But I didn't, so what am I supposed to do?

That is really fucked up. It shouldn't be that way. Sounds like she did slander you.

You read my comment there and that's your reaction? Wtf?

Why would I write that if I was guilty of said thing?

Being accused of something is fully different than actually having done it. Just because somebody accuses you of something doesn’t mean it’s automatic that you are guilty. In the comment that was linked, he literally said somebody falsely accused him. So I have to ask you how do you know that he’s actually guilty?

In my experience, people often to make choices based on not cool things. Sometimes it depends on the personalities of people involved and he was in a bigger position of power. It can also depend on the information that they provided or have access to. For instance, if you broke up with someone who is vengeful or dishonest, they might spread a lot of lies about you. They can be very sneaky in plant the seeds of suspicion. Unfortunately, I’ve also learned that some people will just believe anything without actual evidence or even logic.

For example, one person I split up with ran a Web for him about 20 years ago. She immediately banned me from the forum, and then was saying a bunch of really exaggerated or just plain false things about me in a private area of the forum to a couple dozen people we had both known for years. I was blocked from there, so I didn’t even know what she was saying and I couldn’t defend myself, and these people believed all these crazy things about me.

More recently I’ve seen stuff like so and had a live stream, and we had a handful of friends and acquaintances he would go watch it. After we split up there are people doing pretty weird and annoying trolling on there. She just kept saying without any evidence that it was obviously me and I’m so crazy, so nuts, so lonely, so drunk and so on. And then if I go on and I’m like what what the hell? I’m not doing this, I just get blocked and ridiculed.

So in either situation, some people around still talked to me and stayed friends, they said things like “well, we didn’t even know of what she was saying was Tru”, but it definitely raised a lot of really bad distrust and suspicions that harmed friendships.

So in general, it seems to me like people go to one side or the other. It’s hard to be friends with people who totally hate each other. You have to make sure you don’t mention one to the other. And also, it leads to resentment. Like if there’s this person who totally screwed me over, it irritates me that someone would still be friends with them after seeing what an awful person they can be and I feel like if they’re still friends with them, they’re not standing up for me. I don’t like people trying to dictate who I’m friends with myself, but still I think OK, so my ex lied to me cheated on me stole from me, and is still trying to harm me, and they’re just like oh, that’s cool.

Reread the comment it says he was falsely accused. Please demonstrate where it says he did it. Just because somebody’s accused of something doesn’t mean they’re automatically guilty.