19 Jun 2026 04:42
Is there a way to geht honest feedback on how you behave?
This feels especially hard because, broadly speaking, those who will be overly nice will be the more 'normal' people, which is the more useful group to get reviews from because their reactions would be more representative of the broader public, but the ones more likely to be brutally honest are more likely to be unusual people, who are less representative of the people you are most likely to meet on a day to day basis, so the reviews are less likely to be useful. The specific cross-section of willing to be honest and capable of providing useful insight seems somewhat limited.
If dogs really like you, especially strangers' dogs, you are genuinely giving off good vibes and if they bark at you, you give off bad ones. Don't shoot me, I am just the messenger.
19 Jun 2026 06:00
That's not true though. Some dogs hate me but most love me. Dogs have personalities just like people and as such, many are straight up assholes. Usually they are owned by straight up asshole humans. And in any case dogs do not share any universal opinion.
19 Jun 2026 06:10
It's just something I was always told. If you own a dog and the dog doesn't like your friend, it is a red flag. They are empaths. I am really talking about big dogs. The little ones are less reliable. I know the personality of a person rubs off on the dog. But there isn't really science behind this. Just something I observed. There really is no such thing as a bad person. Just people who do bad things. But a lot of the time dogs will pick up on Sketchy people before we do.
19 Jun 2026 06:20
This is going to sound like a joke, but I try to be just cocky enough that people feel comfortable being perfectly honest with me. I used to be pretty agreeable, but people don't really want to correct their nice friends, even when they're wrong or acting uncouth, and I could tell that there were aspects of my behavior that might be off-putting but no one was telling me.
Now, threading that needle is a pretty advanced technique. It necessarily requires enough behavioral awareness to be confident enough that people correct you, but not so arrogant that they just write you off as an asshole.
But besides that, yeah it's a tricky situation. Ironically the same consideration that keeps people from criticizing you prevents you from improving. I think the real problem is that most people don't really actively change to improve themselves based on constructive criticism, so most people avoid rocking the boat with constructive criticism.
Now, threading that needle is a pretty advanced technique. It necessarily requires enough behavioral awareness to be confident enough that people correct you, but not so arrogant that they just write you off as an asshole.
But besides that, yeah it's a tricky situation. Ironically the same consideration that keeps people from criticizing you prevents you from improving. I think the real problem is that most people don't really actively change to improve themselves based on constructive criticism, so most people avoid rocking the boat with constructive criticism.
19 Jun 2026 06:42
Right, I've heard that too, and I agree there is _some_ truth to it, I just don't think it's reliable.
19 Jun 2026 06:50
Generally i get along fine with dogs, but Chihuahuas. There has been only one single dog who has tried to bite me and it was a Chihuahua. He/she couldn't get through my sneakers and i was more worried over trying to avoid stepping on it.
19 Jun 2026 07:52
Yeah, right?! I catch myself debating if I should tell a friend of mine that he smells sweaty or if I shouldn't, and I can only imagine other people have similar considerations.
19 Jun 2026 08:05
Why asking the internet part is bad?
With anonymity it's oddly one of the safest places. Rather good risk to reward ratio.
If identifying details are avoided, it can't really come back to haunt me in the real world, which does matter a little more and if someone starts to stalk me then i can block them or just purge the user and make a new one.
At the same time it's completely possible to get some feedback. Kinda like gauging how people would react and refining the trail of taught before releasing it to real world.
Over the years, this sort of testing out has been rather useful in clearing my own garbled up mind. Maybe kinda like interactive journaling. If the trail of taught or thinking patterns get too negative, it generally gets pointed out and i can reassess those.
With anonymity it's oddly one of the safest places. Rather good risk to reward ratio.
If identifying details are avoided, it can't really come back to haunt me in the real world, which does matter a little more and if someone starts to stalk me then i can block them or just purge the user and make a new one.
At the same time it's completely possible to get some feedback. Kinda like gauging how people would react and refining the trail of taught before releasing it to real world.
Over the years, this sort of testing out has been rather useful in clearing my own garbled up mind. Maybe kinda like interactive journaling. If the trail of taught or thinking patterns get too negative, it generally gets pointed out and i can reassess those.
19 Jun 2026 08:05
This is actually a benefit of having a usable relationship with someone who doesn't like you but is otherwise reasonable, they are more likely to answer these questions accurately. Even people who are willing to answer are biased by their relationship to you and won't give you an outsider's perspective.
19 Jun 2026 08:07
Interesting idea! I am not sure if I want to video-analyse me talking about the weather, and it kind of seems creepy to recod random interactions. But I'll try to keep this in mind if I happen to be in a context that gets recorded anyway.
I think I'd rather know, if I don't like how I behave, I can make steps to change it. If I don't, I'll be stuck telling the same three unfunny jokes to people
I think I'd rather know, if I don't like how I behave, I can make steps to change it. If I don't, I'll be stuck telling the same three unfunny jokes to people
19 Jun 2026 08:07
Huh, interesting. To be fair, I seem to fall into a whole different "mode" when presenting. Once I stand up and the adrenaline kicks in, I basically run on autopilot. I've been told I'm quite good at bullshitting my way through, so at least that's something.
19 Jun 2026 08:10
I hope I am a decent person. But even a decent person can be annoying, intimidating, harsh, closed off etc, right? I've seen it often enough in others.
19 Jun 2026 08:11
Me being whatever I am does not change the validity of the question. Many presumably neurotypical people could really do with some honest mirror of how they come across. Yet the presumably on-average-neurotypical peers don't say anything out of politeness or other reasons.
And I ask here for the same reason I don't ask IRL friends: we are all anonymous strangers here, nobody knows me enough to tell me my idea is stupid, and I don't know anyone enough to be offended by being told it is stupid.
And I ask here for the same reason I don't ask IRL friends: we are all anonymous strangers here, nobody knows me enough to tell me my idea is stupid, and I don't know anyone enough to be offended by being told it is stupid.
19 Jun 2026 08:14
Dogs are not humans. Dogs do pick up body language and general vibes, but dogs don't understand speech, and dogs generally don't care if you are not a threat, bring food, play, or smell interesting.
19 Jun 2026 08:15