What is the process of becoming a father minus a partner?

Sure, by bringing children into this world to fulfill your own psychological needs, you are no different than any other parent.

Just putting myself in the head of someone who is willing to surrogate and betting they want to imagine their child growing up in a two-parent home.

Sort of things I was hoping to hear. No, I'm not going to exploit a 3rd world person for anything. I came up in a 3rd world country, so just no. Professionally, I am doing alright, a year or two ago, I could not afford a McDonalds burger now, I'm received 5% gross from a logistics company that I did a project for and signed up for a %age of the action in lieu of me supporting them. I do about 10 hours a month for that, works out to around 8k gross and I have two other similar placed projects coming up, so that's looking good.

Been raising kids as I mentioned in another thread, so this isn't exactly new. Not easy, yup, I agree.

The process seems expensive and the information is murky.

Probable. Likely.

I'm already helping raise 3 kids and have been doing so for years. My dynamic is changing, and since I'm going solo, this is one future I want to explore and try make happen.

I also did the soccer team thing, we never won a single game this season, dang. Cleats and shinguards for growing kids pile up quick.

Yeah, I expect something like that.

I wanted to be a husband and a full time dad. I've tried step 1 and it did not go well. Does that mean I don't qualify for step 2? Also, there are kids who wake up in a two parent home and end up in a single parent home, or in the foster system, or homeless. Doesn't always work out as one intends, best foot forward is the next best alternate in my books.

No worries, man, I'm an anti-natalist. I don't think anyone should be brought into this world, so you don't need to justify anything to me.

The question is how you get society to give you a child, and I think you'll have to compete with more traditional family units for the scarce resources of egg & womb. If you want to adopt pre-existing older kids, you'll have less to contend against.

Welp, I did my level best. I wish you all the best in your journey.

You'll always have the risk of the mother changing mind and keep the kid i think. Children need their mother. Trying to force that life on a child because that's your lifestyle is not selfish, it's psycho.

The whole game around finding someone you actually like has a reason. The resulting child will have traits of both parents. Of course some of our character is due to experience but you underestimate how much of it is imprinted.

Adopt, volunteer in an orphanage, have a weekend visit, something like that. Just know it’ll be rough being a single parent.

So single fathers should just give up their children for adoption (by whom?), because "children need their mother"? Go fuck yourself.

Who said anything about "forcing" a surrogate? Women do it all the time. IIRC many places have laws to protect exactly that situation - if the surrogate mother changes her mind, she may (although there will be financial penalties, as it'sa breach of contract).

Lots of women do this without being judged for it. Why should OP be judged for it?

Some places have fostering with intent to adopt which is way cheaper than surrogacy, but more emotionally fraught (both depending on the kids situation/state of mind, and the risk/chance that they are reunited with their own family before adoption goes through).

If you want actual, specific, resources you probably need to specify where you live.

It's probably not easy or cheap, but my assumption is that any dude who wants to be a parent enough to do it solo have probably thought it through well, and it sounds like you've had some experience and will likely be an involved parent so I'm rooting for you.

Make sure you read to them every single night before bed (even when they're old enough to read themselves), and eat dinner together every day with no screens allowed, and give lots of hugs and kisses and 'I love you's even when they've been bad, and you'll do great.

Innocent? Buddy, my 6 yr old is the most ruthless person I know. He'll circumvent either his mother or I depending on what he wants.

Innocent no. Aware of their actions and what consequences may come? Nah. They don't give a fuck. It's why we teach em right and wrong.

If you live in a state that allows single men to foster and adopt, that is one possibility.

And yes I'm sure paid surrogates can work with single guys. There are agencies for those.

Good luck to you.