What is the process of becoming a father minus a partner?

You really think women aren't judged for being a single mother?

Not like single fathers are judged. Women are judged because people think they should have a partner. Men are judged because people think they are incompetant, psychopathic and dangerous.

You don't want to deal with an adult who may be as obstinate as you, but you want kids?

I would have a think on that before having kids if I were you

Example conversation


Me to my niece: I like the little bow on your hair.


My niece: Thanks uncle N. I want a pink one for my birthday. Don't forget.


Me to my ex: I like the little bow on your hair.


My ex: What are you trying to say? I'm a slut? Fuck you. Who do you think you are talking to?



No, I am not kidding. She had a complicated relationship with herself, alcohol, her employer and her landlord. The previous one cheated and got pregnant, other one enabled my terrible habits and left me after I went sober and clean. I'm not expecting the exact same response but getting insulted for complimenting someone is a pain. Maybe its my choice of people, maybe its something I do or say, but I know what is working for me, hence how we got here.

Thanks. If all goes as I hope, I will be moving to California next summer which is when I intend to pursue this.

If you can't handle a partner, you absolutely cannot handle being a parent: I assure you it is orders of magnitude more difficult and you can't just bail like you could in a relationship.

Thanks. I hope to do this in California if my plans come to fruition. Raising these kids, yeah, I've learnt a lot about them, and myself. I'm terribly far from being perfect with them, but as you mentioned, reading to them, loving them and eating with them happens pretty often and works. Once they feel safe, are well fed and nurtured, and entertained, they are pretty cool kids.

I have been thinking about this for two years, but I was pretty scared to go beyond thinking because in my own society, there is social stigma around this. But I'm done with all that. I will be judged for being single, I will be judged for being a single father, I will be judged for being a divorced father, I will always be judged. I'm over that. I just want my life, and a family, and if this is how it happens, so be it.

Not all people are your crazy ex. The kid will say way worse than that to you they can be fucken mean when they're pissed off at you.

I get where kids come from. I've been raising 3 for the last couple of years. I also get where grownups come from. Its the intent. Kids say hurtful things and lash out, I've dealt with that. Grownups should know better than shit on a compliment, or suck someone down with their crap, or be unfaithful. Past the age of majority, yeah, you should own and carry your bag. Excuses should be out of the window. Oh, and if you read my previous post, those were 3 exes, not 1.

I'm already raising 3 kids.

Not like single fathers are judged.

Rightfully so! Most of them have killed their wives anyway.

/s

Wait until your 11yo gives you the same response 🤣

I'm raising a 13 yr old girl, a 12 yr old boy and a 9 yr old boy. I've been with them on/off since all of them were in diapers, and I've been full contact with them going 4 years now. We are doing good.

We are doing good.

Yes you have repeated that so many times now.

What is the process for dudes?

I am not looking to have a relationship with an egg donor or the surrogate

So you intend to impregnate a woman, wait (doing nothing) all the time of her pregnancy and giving birth, then take her child away from her, and call that a "process" and you still think of yourself not being a huge AH... I am impressed... somehow.