How much should I spend on an engagement ring?

Don't spend ten grand.

I proposed with a dummy ring made of foil and then we went ring shopping together. I also got an engagement ring because I wanted one.

10k on a ring? Holy!

I think this is something worth discussing with your s.o.
Maybe they agree about not wanting to spend a whole lot. Maybe it is really important to them.

Maybe they don't want a ring at all.

And if it's mysogonistic to ask for the fathers opinion? Yes. Yes it is. Men should not have this power over their daughters decisions.

You don't know until you ask, and by asking you're showing her the respect and that you value her opinion.

Exactly, don't ask anyone to marry you if you don't already know that the answer will be yes. Reality isn't like the movies; a spontaneous marriage proposal isn't romantic, it's putting the recipient on the spot and forcing them to answer a huge question that they may not be ready to answer yet, and if they say no it's likely to doom the relationship even if they may have said yes if properly consulted beforehand.

My wife and I had already discussed the possibility of marriage almost from the start of our relationship, to make sure that our expectations of where the relationship was going were aligned. Once we decided in earnest that we did want to spend our lives together, we discussed what she wanted the proposal to look like and what kind of a ring she wanted.

Spend what you can afford. Pay more attention to the style she likes than the cost.

If she says no because the ring wasn't expensive enough, you dodged a bullet.

Personally I feel the whole concept of the man proposing with a ring is outdated. The decision to get married was a joint decision between my wife and me. We talked about it, agreed we both wanted it and then decided together when we wanted to get married. There was no engagement ring and we didn't spend a lot on our wedding rings either (I can't remember how much, but it was relatively speaking very cheap). The wedding itself was also rather small and not that expensive (again, relatively). We had a lovely day and never regretted not spending more, even if we could have afforded to.

But getting married is one of these things where the right way is your way. Everyone wants something different and nobody can tell you what's best for you and your partner.

I want to add an anecdote to this: my wife and I, before we got married, went to a gem panning place up in the mountains and found a Ruby, her birthstone. We found a jeweler who cuts raw gems and sets them into rings. We used that for her engagement ring, and it wasn't more than $400.

Point is, to add to SorryImLate's reply, you definitely don't need something crazy expensive, especially if it's unique or personal.

https://www.americangemsociety.org/moissanite/#%3A%7E%3Atext=Moissanite-%2CWhat+is+moissanite%3F%2Cof+the+compound+silicon+carbide

I am not sure if they all do or not. But they have jewelry in the app.

I spent around $2500 on the engagement ring. We had discussed what she liked before I ordered it, but I customised it myself, so she was not a part of choosing the actual ring. I asked her dad, but it was mostly ceremonial. I knew he would say yes, and if the didn't, that wouldn't have changed anything.

For reference here's the ring I got.

I wasn't pressured into buying an "expensive" ring. I bought it while I was studying. She said it was not important with an expensive rinf, and I believe she believed that, but she is extremely happy with the ring, and I am proud when she wears it.

I think that is about what we spent too, including the wedding. We spent almost another $100 on the reception, which was me, my wife, and my best man going to red lobster. Our 25th is later this year.

An engagement shouldn’t be a surprise, but a proposal can be (depending on what the couple wants!). As in your advice on discussing and agreeing jointly on getting engaged is really good.

My partner and myself decided against rings altogether and did a smaller wedding as well. It was awesome and not too expensive.

I spent like 400 on the ring. And then we spent 3k on the wedding.

Ten years in and no issues.

I think I spent 20 euros on a ring I thought was cute (and resizable, because I didn't know her ring size), and we later bought wedding rings together.

I also called her father beforehand, but more like "Hey, I thought you'd like to know that I'm planning to do this", and he was like "That's awesome, have fun!".

Depends where are you living. I spent like 1/3 of my monthly income.

Aw shucks!